Liberty Fellowship - logo

CONTACT US         CALENDAR  

 
home Ministries Worship Guests Staff Media

resources - UNDERSTANDING GRIEF

Critical Incident Stress
Coping through crisis
Good Directions to be your best
Dealing with holiday stress
After the Storm
Helping children grieve
Job Loss Stress
Understanding Grief
Stressed
First, let’s face reality. Family, friends, coworkers, and perhaps clergy have tried to help, but the fact is, the only person that really understands what you’re going through is you. However hard you try to explain it, the words don’t always come out right and you are still left with the pain of your uniquely personal grief. There may be other people who cared and loved as much as you cared and loved, but they are not grieving the same way you are grieving. Perhaps they are grieving openly and wonder why you are holding it all in. Or maybe it’s the other way around and you are trying to be strong for others. But trying to be strong for others has some negative results. Your lack of expression may be interpreted as not caring. Additionally, suppressing grief is often damaging physically and psychologically, which can result in long term harm. Expressing grief helps us process grief and leads toward recovery. The fact is, everyone expresses grief in their own way. And the way we grieve, openly or privately, may be the result of our childhood learning, religious beliefs, traditional expectations, or the circumstances surrounding the death of our loved one.  Don’t misunderstand the word “recovery.” Your loss will always be a part of your life but you will learn to live with your loss.

Talking  about it with your spouse or a special friend will help. Becoming involved in some project in memory of your loved one or volunteering in a project to help others will make you stronger as days go by.

 

That being said, watch out for the “landmines.” It may be a sight, smell, song, a place where a significant memory was born, someone telling you a story of their personal loss – any of these things can trigger the memories and emotions of your loss and the emotions can suddenly come flooding back – even after many years. Then there are birthdays and other significant events that remind us of our loss.

Research reveals other significant “anniversary” dates that may affect us. Sometimes (subconsciously) our body and brain start gearing up (stressing) about two weeks in advance of these dates. You may become aware of changes in how you feel, how you relate to others, or some other change that makes you wonder what is happening with you. The anniversary times are 3 months following your loss, 6 months following your loss, 12 months, 18 months, and then annually thereafter until you find your sense of balance. Keep in mind that this does not necessarily happen to everyone, but if it happens to you, you should feel like yourself again a day or two after the anniversary date passes.

Finally, if you continue to struggle, it is advisable that you visit your doctor or a professional counselor for an assessment, especially if you are concerned about a physical symptom or change in your health.

The information below should be helpful in gauging where you are in your grief timeline.

 

 

TYPICAL TIMELINE OF GRIEF REACTIONS

     

1

Immediate (0-24 hrs. following loss) may include…

 

Agitation
Clammy feeling
Excitability
Fear
Nausea

 

Lowered short-term memory
Rapid heart rate
Shakiness
Shock

 

 

 

2

Intermediate (24 hrs. to 2 weeks following loss) may include…

 

Anger / Hostility
Anniversary reactions
Disorientation
Dizziness
Forgetfulness
Helpless feeling

 

Hysteria
Loss of appetite
Nightmares
Physical exhaustion
Sleeplessness
Tunnel vision

3

Long term (2 weeks to six months following loss) may include…

 

Depression
Flashbacks
Guilt
Fear
Inability to work

 

Isolation
Loss of meaning

Startle response
Substance Abuse

 

4

Long term (6 months to 3 or more years following loss) may include…

 

Alienation
Anxiety response
Flashbacks
Loneliness
Memory triggers

 

 

Relationship difficulties
Sexual dysfunction
Startle response
Suicidal thoughts
 

(3 days to two weeks before anniversary dates)

     

TYPICAL IMMEDIATE SYMPTOMS OF GRIEF REACTIONS

 

1

Physical Symptoms of Grief may include the following …

 

Backaches
Chest pain
Chills
Disorientation
Dizziness
Elevated blood Pressure
Fainting
Fatigue
Grinding teeth
Headaches
Heart palpitations
 

 

Muscle tightness or
tremors
Nausea or vomiting
Numbness
Shakiness, weakness
Shock symptoms
Shortness of breath
Sweating – clammy
Thirst
Tightness in throat
Visual or hearing
difficulties
 

 

2

Behavioral Symptoms of Grief may include the following …

 

Antisocial acts
Blaming someone
Change in activity
Change in speech
Change in usual
communications
Emotional outbursts
Erratic movements
Heightened or lowered
alertness
 

 

Hyper-alert to
surroundings
Hyper-vigilance
Inability to rest
Intensified startle reflex
Loss or increase of
appetite
Lowered level of
functioning
Pacing
Withdrawal
 

3

Emotional Symptoms of Grief may include the following …

 

Antisocial acts
Blaming someone
Change in activity
Change in speech
Change in usual
communications
Emotional outbursts
Erratic movements
Heightened or lowered
alertness
 

 

Hyper-alert to
surroundings
Hyper-vigilance
Inability to rest
Intensified startle reflex
Loss or increase of
appetite
Lowered level of
functioning
Pacing
Withdrawal
 

 

4

Behavioral Symptoms of Grief may include the following …

 

Confusion
Disorientation
Disturbed thinking
Greater or less
awareness
Memory problems
Non-specific body
complaints

 

 

Not identifying the
familiar
Poor abstract thinking
Poor attention
Poor concentration
Poor decisions or
judgment
Poor problem solving
Suspiciousness

 

These are normal reactions that people MAY experience. If you are experiencing any of these symptoms, YOU ARE NORMAL. Symptoms should subside with time. If you are concerned about any symptoms you exhibit, consult a medical doctor as soon as possible.

     
   
 

Home  | Guest  |  Staff  |  Media  |  Calendar of Events Service Times  |  Ask About Jesus  Daily Devotion  |  Sunday School   Kids Church  |  Contact Us|

About Us  |  Youth | Men’s Ministry | National Girls Club | Royal Rangers | Senior Ministry | Women’s Ministry | Widowed Warriors

 

2012 All Rights Reserved © lfatwater.com

Website Design by Finality Graphics